“Great — And while you were analyzing my actions, what were you creating?”
Opinions and judgements causes respiratory failure. Artists make art about what is happening — and what might be coming —
I should have started a blog for liberatory learners about the process. Should have been doing this from day one — quick notes about the process — let people know — also — for myself — to remember what happened — like switching between stripe, cancelled, you can book me and zapier, opening the bank account online, being told I should not have done that because it was linked to my personal social security —
Recording process for all the projects — daily updates — additional work — for who was this for — in the end — proof that I was doing things — doing the things — accomplishing the goals — creating new goals along the way — understanding why I was even doing this in the first place — what am I guided by — really guided by — what is more modus operandi — Purity — Peace — Creation through Love — Loving — Understanding.
I might be curious about process itself and might start several projects and experiments to learn about myself through them — being hyper aware of that — fearful that I will not be financially stable yet stubbornly ignoring the path that will lead me to what I really want — which is influence to change the world — in the ways that I have been shown how to — double down on my mistakes and do not repeat them — like ignoring my intuition — and not feeling into how something feels — really feels — and being afraid of what I might find — tension lives in my body — and when I do not breathe deeply I get lost in the stubbornness — the fickleness — the meandering wavelengths — the voices that tell me how wrong I am for even trying and the other timelines that pull me away from the present — what I am actively creating — super — charging the future — with the most present moment — therefore needing it to be carefully constructed — my new foundations — — being each age group — creative — now — yellow — an entrance — 10 is red — 20 is orange — 30 is yellow —solar plexus reminders — building my confidence — everything about this age is balancing confidence and working on my core — making sure that I do not over-eat or stop working out — making sure that I am taking care of my body — my physical body — understanding the importance of that — the necessity of it — today I did a new yoga flow and it made me very aware of how much learning I still have to do — not even about yoga or about the process, but learning about how I learn — what I pay attention to while I am engaging with what I am engaging with — television writers who write speculative fiction for the screen are projecting the same problems onto the new world — maybe it can live there — the drama that I want to write for film and television has not been made — and therefore — energy towards that needs to happen -
Figuring out my shadow as the other side and realizing when I project similar outcomes is my unresolved guilt with my past relationships. If I do not choose to ride the dark wave, they return in another form.
No one is allowed to talk to me on Sundays — that is my day with my shadows — it is pinned on my google Caldener — I would say that if I were a stand up comedian as part of my set — Shadow Sundays — a time that I engage with my shadows —we go for walks —they accompany me as i clip my toenails — they tell me that I do not own them — a slight relief — might not even be mine — might be something else and something else within myself is obsessed with claiming things. I have claimed shadows that might not have even been mine. The central air stops blowing heat from the walls. I am swimming in power I do not know what to do with — a curse that has not been listened to — believing is half the battle — maybe we are fighting the negative thoughts of those closest to us — from our parents — “shit keeps following you around doesn’t it?” — a line from The Expanse plays after I write that — mistakes try to drag me — they enter when I move too quickly and hit a body part up against something — or when something falls — a quick rebuttal with happiness and joy makes them leave momentarily, at least until the next moment comes.
And so we travel through these gateways fluidly -
Am I a bad person for not donating to wikipedia?