Dodecahedron is a polygon with 12 flat sides.

July 21st, 2019

“How are you?”

A question now that I smile at and sometimes in acts of rebellion I refuse to answer. Ask me if I’ve cried today instead. I do not know all the time how I am doing. “Good” is an inaccurate representation of how I am actually doing. In these moments I either make a sound like a lama or awkwardly repeat “good yeah” three or four times as an attempt to convince both myself and the person who asked it.

The act of convincing is myself taking a pause from the act of performing. Switching between states is part of the act of being here. When someone is asking how you have been — what are they really asking?

In groups i respond differently.

The feeling is non-locatable at times.

I do not know how I feel or how I am.

I give myself permission to not know.

How can I embody both states of being okay within myself but knowing that the earth is dying and our engagement in this instance is probably a contributor to global poverty.

How do you feel about being implicit?

I feel great! how do you feel?

Quickly — the moment changes — either with a fast response and then a swift movement towards another topic — probably about why i am here, and why you are there, “how are you?”

I’m dying, you?

We’re all dying. Cool how can I help you?

In relation to what? This product — how can you help me find this product? How can you help me acquire this Thing? What do I have to give you in return? Money? What’s that? This thing that we are all after? To live?

A diabetic man on the train was asking for water. No one had any. I gave him a dollar and told him to buy some water but he said “i can’t drink this” and gave it back to me.

“I NEED SOME WATER” he yelled.

A woman got on the train and heard him, gave him her water bottle and got off. She left her water bottle with him.

We are more than money. We are more than war. We are more than this pain. We are vibrant fractals of energy waiting to love.